Today's blogs are now virtual journals for all to see... I just read my brother-in-law's blog. I'm so disheartened... The loss of my sister 9 months ago was horrible! And poor Eldon suffers the most... But I appreciate his thoughts and especially the memories of Heather!
Oh how I miss Heather... I feel odd trying to go to Christin for advice, for she's so busy and still suffering from Heather's loss as well. She's one busy lady. My current issues lie with making some very tough decisions. For anyone who has had gestational diabetes, you understand how crazy it is to eat 6 meals a day, balancing out lean protein, fruit, veggies, and most importantly, the carbs.
On top of gestational diabetes, I am high risk. But some of the drama that pops up is too much. How do I explain to certain people that such drama is dangerous for my unborn baby? No one else had misinterpreted what I've said, so why is it always this one individual?! That makes me more grateful for the rest of my family for how patient and understanding they've been with me. And forgiving.
I've worked very hard at keeping my messages on face book positive since everyone else seems so stressed, frustrated, and sometimes hurt and/or lonely. What I did I had to do, for the good of my growing baby. I block my little sister, lol. After I did that she immediately sent a very hurtful and untrue email to out birth mother. She'd already attacked our birth father some time earlier and made sure to burn that bridge thoroughly.
For those of you that don't understand about my condition let me try to explain... When I was six months pregnant with my son, some big drama (and a threat to kidnap my son after birth) caused my heart rate to go up, too much adrenaline and stress made my body attack the baby. I started cramping and bleeding. After three horrible miscarriages, my son was the first successful pregnancy I had. I wasn't about to lose him, so my counselor make it clear to my husband and I that certain people needed to be cut out of our lives until after the baby was born or until the could respect us...
A lot of pregnancies are hard as it is. Gestational diabetes is hard as it is. But add everything into the mix and you could have a dangerous situation if you're not careful!
One of the regular stresses that plague me is the fact that my sister Heather won't be there to coach me with this baby. She was there for me when everyone else was out of town. She brought our mother, who had a stroke just two months before my son's birth, and gave her the job of holding my head while I pushed.
Heather and Christin answered all my silly pregnancy questions... This round I don't want to bother Christin. Did I mention how busy she is, lol. She has four amazing talented boys. Her husband is in the Air Force (Go Air Force!!!), and he is currently away on very important 'business'.
I've felt very lonely... My mother was there for the three oldest when they each had their first. She was always there for them when they needed her. But now Eldon needs her! I'm so grateful that she and dad can go and help him with his three amazing children, but that doesn't mean that I'm not jealous, ha ha. I love him.
As for my hubby, he works very hard as a Medical Lab. Technician. He works about 10 hours over time every week, which is nice money wise... but I do miss him. Simple chores have become hard. Once my lower tummy starts to hurt I have to sit down or lay down.
That's something that's really import... Sharp pains = bad. ;)
Well, I got to vent and complain for a moment, so at least I feel a little relieved. I just wish that my little sister would understand that the world does not revolve around her. It took me awhile to learn that myself, lol. But at least I learned that lesson soon after I graduated from high school, lol. She'll make a great villain in one of my books... think of it as therapy!
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