The closer we get to November, the more emotional I become.  I've tried many times to come to a decision and determine what I should do.  I received an answer at church last Sunday.
   This Novemeber will be the one year mark when my sister passed away.  The closer Novemeber comes, the more deep my sorrow.  November is also the month I was born in.  It's also a time to gather together and be grateful for the blessings we have.
   So I have come to a very important conclusion.  This November I will celebrate all the wonderful things my sister did and stood for.  Instead of concentrating on mourning her, I will do something to honor her instead.
   I know that her husband still grieves so deeply.  I know that my siblings and parents struggle with their mourning.  But I just can't keep doing this.  I need to do something for Heather, in her name.  Perhaps it will be just a kind act, made in secret.  I will forgive another who has hurt me because they are undoubtedly socially inept. 
   I am grateful for my family.  I am grateful for my husband, son, and baby on the way.  I am grateful for kind loving parents who've taught me right from wrong.  I am grateful for patient, loving siblings.  I am grateful to know my birth parents.  I am grateful for my birth siblings. 
   I have been truely blessed.  My life is not exceedingly hard.  My issues are easy to sort out.  Every now and then, when I can't get a hold of Christin, I wonder what advice Heather would give me.  I have been so spoiled and honored to have been raised with such amazing sisters!  Now I begin to understand why so many were jealous of me.
   Since October, 2000, my family increased a great deal...  That's when Christin called me up at college and had my brother and I call our birth mother. 
   I cannot begin to count the number of times my older sisters have come to my recue.  How many times have they given me advice on things that should've been simple.  I'm grateful that not both of my sisters were taken from me.  I know that may sound aweful, but my world would crumble without Christin.
   As for my brothers...  They all have good hearts.  If only they made the decisions that would guide them to true happiness.  I love them and still look up to them, just for the fact that I want to honor them as my brothers.
   No one is perfect.  No one has borne more of a burden then another.  The burdens are just different.  How we deal with things may differ greatly.  Well, I still think that Eldon has been through more hell than I will in my lifetime.  I will not pretend to have it harder than him.  I wish I could ease his burden...  even just a little.
   Dear Heather,
      I miss you so much.  We all do.  I wish that you were still here, that all of this was but a nightmare.  I know you.  I've seen you.  I'm sorry I never visit your grave.  You're not there.  No...  You're in Heaven.  Somehow, beyond what tiny understanding man has, I know that you are where you need to be to comfort. 
     I've been trying not to be so dramatic about the small things.  I keep hearing you voice in the back of my mind when worries start to crawl in the back of my head.  I can hear you tell me that everything is okay.  The baby is fine.  There's nothing to worry about.  And I am greatly comforted.
     I know that Eldon struggles so much without your physical presence.  But I also am so greatful that mom and dad can be there to help.  Mom went through the same, although her dad emotionally drained himself at the end of the day with spirits.  But Eldon, though struggling, is stronger.  He gets his emotions out in your journal. 
     I want to yell at the members of our church who tell him to basically, if you will, "Get over it.  You shouldn't be mourning this long."  But you would tell me not to.  You'd tell me just to love them and be patient and kind.  Of course, you're right.
     I've complained so often that you're not going to be able to coach me through having this baby as you did with Joseph.  I think Heavenly Father wanted to give me some strong hints that you'll be there, although not in physical body.  Well guess what...  My Doctor's name is Heather.  And then the woman who registered me for an ultra sound...  Heather.
     Needless to say, I stopped complaining.  I think I get the hint now, lol. 
     Anyways, I keep praying that everyone else will feel your spirit when you go to comfort.  Thanks for stopping by.  You're still there when I need you.  Now if I could help the others too.
     Christing is still bearing so much...  She feels guilty when other tell her that she's lazy or not doing enough.  Blah to them!  She's so busy.  She has 4 amazing boys and manages to keep her house clean and her family (the rest of us, hee hee), together.  But she's still emotionally in shambles.  Your passing wounded her deeply.  I deeply wish that she had the kind of friends there that she had/has here.  They're just not that understanding.  It's like they have that part of understanding and feeling frozen behind a barriar of ignorance.  Shame on them all!
     I strive to let others know that mourning differs from person to person.  If it was a strong relationship, the deeper the sorrow, the longer they mourn.  I try not to judge them, which is so hard for me.  I want to defend my family and loved ones, but feel I must play the part of fool to certain people at certain times as to not cause more drama, or further issues. 
     Thanks, Headdy.  Thanks for being such a wonderful sister and good example.  You are truely one of a kind.  Can you try letting Christin know that she is too? 
     Give all our family members that have passed on lots of loves from all of us.  And know that I have been most honored and grateful to them for my wonderful family, that they are a part of.  I love you!
                 Care Bear

Family

   Life is good... For this post I want to keep it positive and upbeat.

   I have been blessed to be adopted by my Scotts. I have a mom, dad, three older brothers and two older sisters.  My first year away at college, before the end of the year, my oldest sister, Christin, called me at my dorm. My birth mother had found my brother and I. So we called her three way and for the first time I got to hear my birth mother's voice.

   Life has been a roller coaster, to say the least, but a good ride none the less. I learned that I was the second oldest of a bunch, lol. My older brother and I had a little sister, two half brothers and a half sister from my birth mother, and two half brothers from my birth father's side. I know, this'll make a good book someday. Give me time to write it though...

   I am happy to report that I still am in contact with most of my blood siblings. Heck, siblings. 

   My birth mother and father are alive and well! They have had crazy lives and been through so much, most of I probably won't hear about, lol. But they are good and honest people.

   Just over a year ago I had the great honor of meeting more of my birth mother's family. Overall the trip was a blast! And man, can Mary and Gator cook!!!

   My older brother and I had the pleasure of meeting my birth father's mother when we were flown out to meet our birth parents and our two youngest siblings, who are, by the way, so cool! I'd like to mention that I do have another sister that died soon after birth... I count her!

   Anyways, I've been so blessed to have been raised by a wonderful family who love me. On top of that I have another family, blood wise, that is in my life too.  How many people out there just want a mom or a dad?! And I got them all...

   I am blessed to have a kind loving husband that takes my feelings, no matter how crazy they may be at the moment, into consideration. Together we have a wonderful 3 year old who brightens our daily lives with his angelic voice, silly questions, and amazing smiles. Soon, though not soon enough, we'll have another child. We're looking at some time in early March here, lol. 

   We are excited about this blessing from above and nervous, pray that we will be in our very first house just before the baby is born.  Maybe that's too much pressure, lol. 

   Family is important, no matter how anyone may feel.  If you're in a good family, like myself, then you know how blessed you truly are.  But if you're in a bad family, where you're not really sure if they'll stay or go, then you struggle more than I can begin to imagine.

   Yes, I do get into the occasional tiff with my younger siblings. Sure I may have to ignore the dramatic ones for medical reasons.  But I still love them and will forgive them, although I may not believe or trust them to an extent.  But that's what most families are about. I've done the same with many loved ones in my life.  

   Sure I do not contact my loved ones like I should... I know that everyone is going through a hard time right now.

   Bless my parents hearts...  My sister Heather passed away last November, my fav. guy cousin recently found out he has colon cancer, his dad is not doing well, and my dad's mom is having a hard time... One of my dad's little sisters passed away a few years ago, he lost his dad a few years before that... Oh, bless his heart.  

   My parents go over every week to be with my Katchners. They help where they can and be with the kids.  I'm so grateful for that!!! And Eldon is trudging through. He's a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for.

   Christin, although an incredibly busy mom of four amazing and talented boys, still takes the time to talk to me when she can. She and Heather used to be mistaken for the other when they both worked in the mall back in the day, lol.  So she's taken it hard too.  But she still gives amazing advice!!!

   Unfortunately I don't really talk to my brothers.  But I love them so much. Everyone has a weakness and hard times throughout their life. So I try to be understanding!

   I feel like I've had the chance to really get to know my birth parents. My birth mother is a strong independent woman who has been through many hells in her life. She has yet to tell me a straight out lie. She constantly worries about her children, no matter where they are or what they're doing.

   As for my birth father, he works hard a lot.  He can fix up just about any vehicle out there.  I've never heard even a mechanic go on the way he does, lol.  He tells you like it is and if you can't handle it that's not his problem.  He does not go out of his way to hurt anyone.  He is a kind and honest man.

   I feel that sometimes people tend to forget that their family members have feelings too. I cannot begin to say how many times a sibling has gotten offended by a mere text that was innocent or had well intentions behind them. Or how many times someone has told me what they texted our birth father and his reaction.  All I can do is smack my hand on my forehead and scream in my head, "What did you expect.  You're beyond rude. Now go and apologized and set things right!!!"

   So if you've been blessed with a family that loves you and is, for all intents and purposes, a good family then tell them how much you love them.  Think back on bad times and try and put yourself in their shoes. Don't send any rude messages via text or electronically.

   This has gotten me into trouble, as the person doesn't know my mood, my emotion, or the tone I'm meaning things to be. But I tell those that are still close to me that I love them.  I feel that sometimes that's all they need to hear.  They've blessed my life so much, more than they'll ever know.  So I hope to return the favor.

   God Bless

          Caralyn Young