The closer we get to November, the more emotional I become.  I've tried many times to come to a decision and determine what I should do.  I received an answer at church last Sunday.
   This Novemeber will be the one year mark when my sister passed away.  The closer Novemeber comes, the more deep my sorrow.  November is also the month I was born in.  It's also a time to gather together and be grateful for the blessings we have.
   So I have come to a very important conclusion.  This November I will celebrate all the wonderful things my sister did and stood for.  Instead of concentrating on mourning her, I will do something to honor her instead.
   I know that her husband still grieves so deeply.  I know that my siblings and parents struggle with their mourning.  But I just can't keep doing this.  I need to do something for Heather, in her name.  Perhaps it will be just a kind act, made in secret.  I will forgive another who has hurt me because they are undoubtedly socially inept. 
   I am grateful for my family.  I am grateful for my husband, son, and baby on the way.  I am grateful for kind loving parents who've taught me right from wrong.  I am grateful for patient, loving siblings.  I am grateful to know my birth parents.  I am grateful for my birth siblings. 
   I have been truely blessed.  My life is not exceedingly hard.  My issues are easy to sort out.  Every now and then, when I can't get a hold of Christin, I wonder what advice Heather would give me.  I have been so spoiled and honored to have been raised with such amazing sisters!  Now I begin to understand why so many were jealous of me.
   Since October, 2000, my family increased a great deal...  That's when Christin called me up at college and had my brother and I call our birth mother. 
   I cannot begin to count the number of times my older sisters have come to my recue.  How many times have they given me advice on things that should've been simple.  I'm grateful that not both of my sisters were taken from me.  I know that may sound aweful, but my world would crumble without Christin.
   As for my brothers...  They all have good hearts.  If only they made the decisions that would guide them to true happiness.  I love them and still look up to them, just for the fact that I want to honor them as my brothers.
   No one is perfect.  No one has borne more of a burden then another.  The burdens are just different.  How we deal with things may differ greatly.  Well, I still think that Eldon has been through more hell than I will in my lifetime.  I will not pretend to have it harder than him.  I wish I could ease his burden...  even just a little.
   Dear Heather,
      I miss you so much.  We all do.  I wish that you were still here, that all of this was but a nightmare.  I know you.  I've seen you.  I'm sorry I never visit your grave.  You're not there.  No...  You're in Heaven.  Somehow, beyond what tiny understanding man has, I know that you are where you need to be to comfort. 
     I've been trying not to be so dramatic about the small things.  I keep hearing you voice in the back of my mind when worries start to crawl in the back of my head.  I can hear you tell me that everything is okay.  The baby is fine.  There's nothing to worry about.  And I am greatly comforted.
     I know that Eldon struggles so much without your physical presence.  But I also am so greatful that mom and dad can be there to help.  Mom went through the same, although her dad emotionally drained himself at the end of the day with spirits.  But Eldon, though struggling, is stronger.  He gets his emotions out in your journal. 
     I want to yell at the members of our church who tell him to basically, if you will, "Get over it.  You shouldn't be mourning this long."  But you would tell me not to.  You'd tell me just to love them and be patient and kind.  Of course, you're right.
     I've complained so often that you're not going to be able to coach me through having this baby as you did with Joseph.  I think Heavenly Father wanted to give me some strong hints that you'll be there, although not in physical body.  Well guess what...  My Doctor's name is Heather.  And then the woman who registered me for an ultra sound...  Heather.
     Needless to say, I stopped complaining.  I think I get the hint now, lol. 
     Anyways, I keep praying that everyone else will feel your spirit when you go to comfort.  Thanks for stopping by.  You're still there when I need you.  Now if I could help the others too.
     Christing is still bearing so much...  She feels guilty when other tell her that she's lazy or not doing enough.  Blah to them!  She's so busy.  She has 4 amazing boys and manages to keep her house clean and her family (the rest of us, hee hee), together.  But she's still emotionally in shambles.  Your passing wounded her deeply.  I deeply wish that she had the kind of friends there that she had/has here.  They're just not that understanding.  It's like they have that part of understanding and feeling frozen behind a barriar of ignorance.  Shame on them all!
     I strive to let others know that mourning differs from person to person.  If it was a strong relationship, the deeper the sorrow, the longer they mourn.  I try not to judge them, which is so hard for me.  I want to defend my family and loved ones, but feel I must play the part of fool to certain people at certain times as to not cause more drama, or further issues. 
     Thanks, Headdy.  Thanks for being such a wonderful sister and good example.  You are truely one of a kind.  Can you try letting Christin know that she is too? 
     Give all our family members that have passed on lots of loves from all of us.  And know that I have been most honored and grateful to them for my wonderful family, that they are a part of.  I love you!
                 Care Bear

Family

   Life is good... For this post I want to keep it positive and upbeat.

   I have been blessed to be adopted by my Scotts. I have a mom, dad, three older brothers and two older sisters.  My first year away at college, before the end of the year, my oldest sister, Christin, called me at my dorm. My birth mother had found my brother and I. So we called her three way and for the first time I got to hear my birth mother's voice.

   Life has been a roller coaster, to say the least, but a good ride none the less. I learned that I was the second oldest of a bunch, lol. My older brother and I had a little sister, two half brothers and a half sister from my birth mother, and two half brothers from my birth father's side. I know, this'll make a good book someday. Give me time to write it though...

   I am happy to report that I still am in contact with most of my blood siblings. Heck, siblings. 

   My birth mother and father are alive and well! They have had crazy lives and been through so much, most of I probably won't hear about, lol. But they are good and honest people.

   Just over a year ago I had the great honor of meeting more of my birth mother's family. Overall the trip was a blast! And man, can Mary and Gator cook!!!

   My older brother and I had the pleasure of meeting my birth father's mother when we were flown out to meet our birth parents and our two youngest siblings, who are, by the way, so cool! I'd like to mention that I do have another sister that died soon after birth... I count her!

   Anyways, I've been so blessed to have been raised by a wonderful family who love me. On top of that I have another family, blood wise, that is in my life too.  How many people out there just want a mom or a dad?! And I got them all...

   I am blessed to have a kind loving husband that takes my feelings, no matter how crazy they may be at the moment, into consideration. Together we have a wonderful 3 year old who brightens our daily lives with his angelic voice, silly questions, and amazing smiles. Soon, though not soon enough, we'll have another child. We're looking at some time in early March here, lol. 

   We are excited about this blessing from above and nervous, pray that we will be in our very first house just before the baby is born.  Maybe that's too much pressure, lol. 

   Family is important, no matter how anyone may feel.  If you're in a good family, like myself, then you know how blessed you truly are.  But if you're in a bad family, where you're not really sure if they'll stay or go, then you struggle more than I can begin to imagine.

   Yes, I do get into the occasional tiff with my younger siblings. Sure I may have to ignore the dramatic ones for medical reasons.  But I still love them and will forgive them, although I may not believe or trust them to an extent.  But that's what most families are about. I've done the same with many loved ones in my life.  

   Sure I do not contact my loved ones like I should... I know that everyone is going through a hard time right now.

   Bless my parents hearts...  My sister Heather passed away last November, my fav. guy cousin recently found out he has colon cancer, his dad is not doing well, and my dad's mom is having a hard time... One of my dad's little sisters passed away a few years ago, he lost his dad a few years before that... Oh, bless his heart.  

   My parents go over every week to be with my Katchners. They help where they can and be with the kids.  I'm so grateful for that!!! And Eldon is trudging through. He's a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for.

   Christin, although an incredibly busy mom of four amazing and talented boys, still takes the time to talk to me when she can. She and Heather used to be mistaken for the other when they both worked in the mall back in the day, lol.  So she's taken it hard too.  But she still gives amazing advice!!!

   Unfortunately I don't really talk to my brothers.  But I love them so much. Everyone has a weakness and hard times throughout their life. So I try to be understanding!

   I feel like I've had the chance to really get to know my birth parents. My birth mother is a strong independent woman who has been through many hells in her life. She has yet to tell me a straight out lie. She constantly worries about her children, no matter where they are or what they're doing.

   As for my birth father, he works hard a lot.  He can fix up just about any vehicle out there.  I've never heard even a mechanic go on the way he does, lol.  He tells you like it is and if you can't handle it that's not his problem.  He does not go out of his way to hurt anyone.  He is a kind and honest man.

   I feel that sometimes people tend to forget that their family members have feelings too. I cannot begin to say how many times a sibling has gotten offended by a mere text that was innocent or had well intentions behind them. Or how many times someone has told me what they texted our birth father and his reaction.  All I can do is smack my hand on my forehead and scream in my head, "What did you expect.  You're beyond rude. Now go and apologized and set things right!!!"

   So if you've been blessed with a family that loves you and is, for all intents and purposes, a good family then tell them how much you love them.  Think back on bad times and try and put yourself in their shoes. Don't send any rude messages via text or electronically.

   This has gotten me into trouble, as the person doesn't know my mood, my emotion, or the tone I'm meaning things to be. But I tell those that are still close to me that I love them.  I feel that sometimes that's all they need to hear.  They've blessed my life so much, more than they'll ever know.  So I hope to return the favor.

   God Bless

          Caralyn Young

Gestational Diabetes and high risk pregnancy

   Today's blogs are now virtual journals for all to see... I just read my brother-in-law's blog. I'm so disheartened... The loss of my sister 9 months ago was horrible! And poor Eldon suffers the most...  But I appreciate his thoughts and especially the memories of Heather!


   Oh how I miss Heather... I feel odd trying to go to Christin for advice, for she's so busy and still suffering from Heather's loss as well. She's one busy lady.  My current issues lie with making some very tough decisions. For anyone who has had gestational diabetes, you understand how crazy it is to eat 6 meals a day, balancing out lean protein, fruit, veggies, and most importantly, the carbs. 


   On top of gestational diabetes, I am high risk.  But some of the drama that pops up is too much.  How do I explain to certain people that such drama is dangerous for my unborn baby? No one else had misinterpreted what I've said, so why is it always this one individual?!  That makes me more grateful for the rest of my family for how patient and understanding they've been with me.  And forgiving. 


   I've worked very hard at keeping my messages on face book positive since everyone else seems so stressed, frustrated, and sometimes hurt and/or lonely. What I did I had to do, for the good of my growing baby. I block my little sister, lol.  After I did that she immediately sent a very hurtful and untrue email to out birth mother.  She'd already attacked our birth father some time earlier and made sure to burn that bridge thoroughly.


   For those of you that don't understand about my condition let me try to explain... When I was six months pregnant with my son, some big drama (and a threat to kidnap my son after birth) caused my heart rate to go up, too much adrenaline and stress made my body attack the baby.  I started cramping and bleeding. After three horrible miscarriages, my son was the first successful pregnancy I had.  I wasn't about to lose him, so my counselor make it clear to my husband and I that certain people needed to be cut out of our lives until after the baby was born or until the could respect us...


   A lot of pregnancies are hard as it is.  Gestational diabetes is hard as it is. But add everything into the mix and you could have a dangerous situation if you're not careful!  


   One of the regular stresses that plague me is the fact that my sister Heather won't be there to coach me with this baby.  She was there for me when everyone else was out of town. She brought our mother, who had a stroke just two months before my son's birth, and gave her the job of holding my head while I pushed.


   Heather and Christin answered all my silly pregnancy questions...  This round I don't want to bother Christin.  Did I mention how busy she is, lol.  She has four amazing talented boys.  Her husband is in the Air Force (Go Air Force!!!), and he is currently away on very important 'business'. 


   I've felt very lonely...  My mother was there for the three oldest when they each had their first.  She was always there for them when they needed her.  But now Eldon needs her!  I'm so grateful that she and dad can go and help him with his three amazing children, but that doesn't mean that I'm not jealous, ha ha. I love him.


   As for my hubby, he works very hard as a Medical Lab. Technician.  He works about 10 hours over time every week, which is nice money wise... but I do miss him.  Simple chores have become hard.  Once my lower tummy starts to hurt I have to sit down or lay down. 


   That's something that's really import... Sharp pains = bad. ;)


Well, I got to vent and complain for a moment, so at least I feel a little relieved.  I just wish that my little sister would understand that the world does not revolve around her. It took me awhile to learn that myself, lol. But at least I learned that lesson soon after I graduated from high school, lol. She'll make a great villain in one of my books... think of it as therapy!    

More Family

 

    This is my husband and I the day we were wed.

(November 2002)

T

This is our son, Joseph.  (Sorry, the picture is from nearly a year ago! Need a new camera, lol)

  My Dad

 (I don't have a pic. of my mom yet...)

Then Comes:  Eric, Becky: Even, Lauren, and Preston Scott

This is my oldest sister, Christin, and her hubby, Bryce

These are their boys, my Morgan boys: Tyler (top), Ethan (bottom left), Brennan (bottom right), and Parker (middle).

This is my sister Heather and her husband Eldon! (Aren't they totally gorgeous!)

(For those of you that don't know, my sister passed away last November, losing her battle with breast cancer)

Elle (middle), Emma (left), and Makia (right).  My Kartchner family!

Then there's Jeff.  I don't currently have a picture of him, but he's pretty cute ladies...

This is James.  He's 11 months older then me.

That's my Family.  Wait, Hold on a minute there, I'm not finished yet!  I have more!

That's my husband on the left.  That's Cindy, my birth mom sitting in the chair.

This is John, my birth father.  (You'll notice with some of my siblings the striking resemblance!)

Then came James, me, then....

Our little sister Crystal! (Isn't she beautiful?!)

She married a man by the name Robert Summers and had a little boy (Christopher).  But their family would not be complete without Christopher's two older brothers, John and Brandon (TWINS!).  Also, there's a baby on the way!

Our birth parents, still good friends, decided to go their separate ways.

Cindy met another man and had some more siblings for me to torture, I mean adore. ;)

First they had Bronson Jr. (sorry, no pic.s of him yet).

This is Jimmy.  He's in the army now, and handsome to boot!

I believe Erin came next.  She only lived two weeks, :(

This is Arielle, my baby sister. (guys, quit drooling!)

There's still more!!!

This is Brandon Kautz, my little brother. (Being the shortest (or close enough to), I use 'little' in the other sense, as in younger!)  Our father had him and Lonnie with Lisa.

And this is Lonnie (sorry if I misspell any one's name.  If I do, I totally blame it on you for not being closer to me, lol.)

This is my family!  

(not including grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins... yet)

We Are Family!

Welcome to our new blog!!! I am so happy to present to you my precious little family. I was sealed to my eternal companion for Time and All Eternity November 23rd, 2002. We had our first addition arrive May 25th, 2007.

We are happily living in Colorado Springs and enjoying the new found hot weather that has brought with it the beauty of greenery and blossoms. Rob is currently working with a liquid oxygen supply company and is earnestly seeking out to gain employment in his field as a Medical Lab. Technician. He graduated early this year with a resounding 4.0. I couldn't be more proud!

Rob is a very kind, loving, generous man. He is so patient and understanding. I believe we get along so beautifully because we communicate on many levels. We're respectful of each other and our tight budget. Not a penny is spent without us discussing the priorities; rent, car insurance, utilities, groceries, gas, medication... The only debt we have left is his new student loans. Hurray!

Joseph is constantly pushing the line for many different things. He's so smart. Just a few minutes ago he opened the refrigerator, got out his cup of chocolate milk, closed the fridge, then happily ran away drink in hand. He knows how to work the dvd player, the television, and the computer. The little stinker also knows how to unlock the front door to escape outside into the hot weather. (It's a good thing he knows to ask first!)

As for me, I working on losing weight. According to my scale, I've already lost close to twenty pounds. I've started a writers group here in the Springs so that we can learn and grow for FREE. I have gone back and written a new prologue on a very special book. It's a challenge, but I take what I learn and apply that knowledge, fixing the mistakes one chapter at a time.

I have found joy in giving women free facials and color make overs. It gives me a chance to get out there and help others. As a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant, I've learned to serve others in another way. It's wonderful when you finish a face and the woman is nearly in tears because she can't believe how pretty she really is. All I do is teach her the proper skin care regiment and high light her natural features! It's very rewarding.
Every week my husband and I set goals for ourselves. This week I've decided to not gossip about any one or skunk myself. the whole skunk thing is when you say something bad about yourself.

I am grateful for my husband and son. They are a constant reminder of the great love my Father in Heaven has for me. I'm grateful for the attonement... Without it, no one could ever be whole. I'm grateful for my family... They have been through so much. I love each of them and keep in mind that they're not perfect. No matter what happens, I will love my brothers, sisters, their spouses and children! I know that Heavenly Father just wants us to be happy. That's why he's let us in on His eternal plan. I'm grateful that I will have my family forever! That brings me joy.

God Bless you and Keep you! Have a wonderful week!